I often get asked "Where did you get your confidence?" It used to annoy me that people would think being plus size automatically equates with being insecure or having a poor self image. However, there are women that are plus size and struggling to find that confidence so I wanted to share a few things that helped me along the way.
- Look in the mirror naked. YES I said naked. When you look in that mirror naked, instead of finding everything wrong with your body....look for the positives. Once you get comfortable looking at yourself naked....feeling sexy IN clothes will be a piece of cake. .
- Surround yourself with positive people. I know it sounds cliche but the plus size women that I've met with confidence issues mainly have friends or family that are the main reason they feel that way. Friends that always have shady comments or family that are intent on making mean or nasty comments are not the ones to surround yourself with.
- Be able to take constructive criticism. Not everyone is hater. If a person truly loves you they will NOT let you go out in something unflattering without giving you some constructive criticism. If you don't care about flattering items then this is not for you. For those of us who DO try to find things that make us look and feel our best, then sometimes you may take that constructive criticism and honestly evaluate yourself. I've had my share of bad outfits on my journey to finding my personal style. It happens to the best of us. There is a THIN line between constructive criticism and plain out rude tho.
- Either TRULY accept yourself the way that you are or change it. Nobody wants to hear you constantly complaining about the things you hate about yourself. Not your mate, your friends, your siblings, or your coworkers. Everyone has bad days but becoming a permanent Debbie Downer should never be in the cards. If you hate it then change it...if not take some of that time and spend it learning to love yourself even your flaws. Barbie isn't real and perfect people don't exist.
- Work Out and Try To Make Better Food Choices. Even tho I am happy being plus size, I am not in denial about the effect it can have on your health not just now but for the long term. I encourage all plus size women to stay active...20 minutes 3 times a week is all that's needed. Just being active and trying to eat better 70-80 percent of the time makes me feel a LOT more confident than when I consume mostly bad processed foods all the time. I love food so I eat bad stuff I just try not to do it daily. You don't have to be trying to lose weight to workout.
- You are more than your face. If you look on social networks a lot of times I see plus size women that have profiles filled with hundreds of pictures. The problem is the majority of those pictures are from the neck up. Ladies you are more than your face. The rest of your body is just as gorgeous as your face. Most men (or women) can tell you are plus size anyway via social networks if it's super hard to find any full body photos of you so put it out there. The more full body photos you take the more you will either fall in love with your entire self image or you will be that much more motivated to change it if you truly are unhappy with it.
At the end of the day, remember confidence is a mind frame. It has nothing do with what size you are. If you are an insecure big girl you will be an insecure straight size girl if you lose weight. Go out live life and enjoy it NOW. You don't have to wait to lose weight to start living.
Until Next Time,